For most mums, giving birth is a positive experience, and even though many feel it's the hardest thing they'll ever do, they'd still do it again. Part of that is as afterwards they feel an immense sense of achievement, exhilaration, at peace and full of complete joy.
We see births on TV or in the movies, we may read about the positive birth experiences of celebrities, and in the majority, they are often described as exactly that , a positive birth experiences, accompanied by all the standard life affirming quotes.
But sadly, that's not the same for every mum. For a silent group of mums, what should be a defining moment in their life, is not always the positive experience they expected or were told.
Often time is not the great healer!
Many mums suffering with post-natal trauma or depression have waited days, weeks, months and even years for it to pass so they can experience a sense of joyful motherhood. Many mums talk about how they carry emotions such as guilt, shame and sadness. Given long enough, in some mums, it has created depression and ongoing anxiety.
Often the weight of having to pretend to be happy and content for others can just add to this emotional burden. And to make matters worse, well-meaning friends, family and medical staff tell them how they should be feeling. Whilst great at a logic level, this mostly just adds to the burden of guilt at feeling the way they do.
What should be the most life enhancing and life changing event in a woman's life can turn out to be a curse which they carry for years as they often believe they have no right to feel down, depressed or traumatised.
It can often feel as if being open and honest is a bad or negative thing?
And that's because our society is rife with the bypassing of our natural feelings and emotions, making it unsafe to fully express how we really feel in the fear of upsetting others or made to feel less than. This falseness and pressure of having to put on that happy face can create further internal emotional pressure, and which no amount of happy one-line Facebook slogans is going to fix or change.
For many mums, it may indeed be because of a lengthy and negative birth experience or labour.
For others, there may have been undue pressure during their pregnancy. Pressure to ensure they ate and exercised correctly, rested enough, or were happy and positive enough.
In some cases, a lifetimes lack of confidence or low self-esteem may trigger feelings of inadequacy at the thought of having to be the perfect mum.
Not forgetting of course, the whole competitiveness and ego enhancing conversations around the child's early years of having to walk, talk and be potty trained by a certain age.
I've forgotten, as a dad, how many times I observed this competitiveness in mums and baby's groups.
So, what's answer, and how can hypnotherapy help?
Like many mums I work with who have gone through this, you may have tried talking therapies, psoitive affirmations, excercise, spa days, Reiki, maybe even medication or self medication through other means. But, it hasn't had any long term effect. In fact, they may have made you feel worse!
That's because none of the above methods work with, or respect your unconscious mind and the trapped emotions, and so the solution is to work with the unconscious mind and the body to allow it to naturally release these pent-up emotions or internalised traumas. When we do that the body drains the emotional swamp, your body returns to balance and you find emotional peace to begin to enjoy life again.
The truth is that you're allowed to connect, feel and express those thoughts and feelings which have contributed to the way you feel. And so through hypnotherapy we work together to allow your unconscious mind to work through and release those emotions.
If some or all of the above feels familiar and you're ready to start to take that first step to take back control? If so, then call me on 01772 499046, or email me by clicking here.Chris Gelder Hypnotherapy
Finton Doyle Accountants, 107 - 109 Towngate
Hypnotherapy help to overcome post-natal trauma and ptsd